Silent

I can be like usual, but not with her. I think she prefers me to move out from the house. Well, I will do. Once the time is coming, you won't see me again.

Sudah puas aku hidup susah

Assalamualaikum

Hari ni post aku mungkin agak panjang. Aku tak ada tempat nak bercerita. Jadi aku taip lah kat sini. Sekurang-kurangnya aku rasa terluah. Aku dah tak tahan duduk dalam rumah ni. Macam macam aku buat semua tak kena. Sekarang ni si Morry memang marah marah. Dia pandang muka aku pun tak. Alhamdulillah. Dia aniaya aku bulan puasa ni. Dia hina aku macam tu rupa. Dia anggap aku tak pernah susah dalam hidup aku. Baiklah  biar aku cerita satu persatu.

Hidup aku sewaktu di nottingham tak senang pun. Duit elaun setiap bulan tu memang cukup2 makan untuk aku. Kadang2 aku makan makanan semalam saki baki sebab nak jimat punya pasal. Allah kurniakan aku kawan baik. Nama dia Fash. Dia lah yang sanggup temankan aku makan seorang diri walaupun dia dalam risiko mungkin kena marah dengan gf dia. Tapi sejak gf dia sound aku, aku masak sendiri hari2. Makan sorang2 dalam bilik. Alhamdulillah Allah kurniakan aku seorang teman istimewa yg sgt baik. Farhan. Setiap kali hujung minggu dia bawakan aku pergi tesco untuk beli barang dapur. Jadinya sepanjang satu semester tu hidup aku seorang diri.

Kadang-kadang dia tak dapat datang. Jadi aku kena pergi sendiri.  Jadi aku pergila tapi anjing sekitar rumah aku ni gila. Suka kejar aku. tension gak. Mentang-mentang aku jalan kaki. Tapi Allah tu tetap lindungi aku. Dia hadirkan beberapa pejalan kaki untuk halau dantemankan aku.

Kemudian, aku diuji dengan group aku yang sangat malas. Group untuk research. Allah saje yang tahu mcm mana tungkus lumus nya aku setiap hari dalam lab tebalkan muka untuk buat experiment yang tak menjadi tu. Aku stress. Tapi aku takkan lepaskan stress aku kat orang lain.

macam biasa aku harapkan pertolongan Allah. Entahlah. Pikir pikir balik sebenarnya banyak masalah aku. Tapi, selagi aku boleh hadapi aku akan act normal. Sebab aku penah buat silap. Aku stress, terlepas kat kaklela. Punya mengamukla dia lepas tu.

Tak semua boleh dengar masalah kita. Tak semua boleh bersama kita susah senang. Tapi jangan risau, Allah kan ada? :-)

Sudah puas aku hidup susah

Assalamualaikum

Hari ni post aku mungkin agak panjang. Aku tak ada tempat nak bercerita. Jadi aku taip lah kat sini. Sekurang-kurangnya aku rasa terluah. Aku dah tak tahan duduk dalam rumah ni. Macam macam aku buat semua tak kena. Sekarang ni si Morry memang marah marah. Dia pandang muka aku pun tak. Alhamdulillah. Dia aniaya aku bulan puasa ni. Dia hina aku macam tu rupa. Dia anggap aku tak pernah susah dalam hidup aku. Baiklah  biar aku cerita satu persatu.

Hidup aku sewaktu di nottingham tak senang pun. Duit elaun setiap bulan tu memang cukup2 makan untuk aku. Kadang2 aku makan makanan semalam saki baki sebab nak jimat punya pasal. Allah kurniakan aku kawan baik. Nama dia Fash. Dia lah yang sanggup temankan aku makan seorang diri walaupun dia dalam risiko mungkin kena marah dengan gf dia. Tapi sejak gf dia sound aku, aku masak sendiri hari2. Makan sorang2 dalam bilik. Alhamdulillah Allah kurniakan aku seorang teman istimewa yg sgt baik. Farhan. Setiap kali hujung minggu dia bawakan aku pergi tesco untuk beli barang dapur. Jadinya sepanjang satu semester tu hidup aku seorang diri.

Kadang-kadang dia tak dapat datang. Jadi aku kena pergi sendiri.  Jadi aku pergila tapi anjing sekitar rumah aku ni gila. Suka kejar aku. tension gak. Mentang-mentang aku jalan kaki. Tapi Allah tu tetap lindungi aku. Dia hadirkan beberapa pejalan kaki untuk halau dantemankan aku.

Kemudian, aku diuji dengan group aku yang sangat malas. Group untuk research. Allah saje yang tahu mcm mana tungkus lumus nya aku setiap hari dalam lab tebalkan muka untuk buat experiment yang tak menjadi tu. Aku stress. Tapi aku takkan lepaskan stress aku kat orang lain.

macam biasa aku harapkan pertolongan Allah. Entahlah. Pikir pikir balik sebenarnya banyak masalah aku. Tapi, selagi aku boleh hadapi aku akan act normal. Sebab aku penah buat silap. Aku stress, terlepas kat kaklela. Punya mengamukla dia lepas tu.

Tak semua boleh dengar masalah kita. Tak semua boleh bersama kita susah senang. Tapi jangan risau, Allah kan ada? :-)

Aku takkan lupa

Assalamualaikum

Ini entry aku yang pertama aku berbahasa Melayu. 2 3 hari ini perangai Morry tetap sama. Marah  marah, buat muka, taknak pandang kalau bercakap, dan kerek.

TAPI

Paling sakit hati aku tak berbuka lagi! Dan bayangkan sekarang dah pukul berapa. Seriously, aku menangis sebab dapat ahli keluarga yang macam ni.

Kau tegur elok elok dia taknak pandang siap mulut terkumat kamit entah apa dia bebel. Aku terima sebab kalau arwah mama dan ayah kau tak pernah hormat apatah lagi aku. Kan?

Aku tak boleh lupa macam mana adik lelaki aku Adrian tak bercakap satu hari gara-gara si Morry mengamuk adik aku guna internet dia. Katanya, habis tinggal 1gb je dan tarikh renew lambat lagi. Oh, aku iyakanaja malas nak ambil tahu. Tup tup aku tengok dia main game online! Haha. Terasa kesian adik Adrian kena marah. Takpe dik, akak pasang streamix nanti. Kau main lah puas puas. Dia? Kalau rasa tak malu, mainlah sama.

Entah lah Morry, aku cuma nak ingatkan. Kalau kau rasa diri kau besar, Allah itu Lagi Maha Besar.

#Takenote

Whatever Im used to it

I am sick of her. People around me sayings, how bad she is, she still my sister.

Feeling annoyed

Assalamualaikum

Today morning, she just did it again. She is so annoying! I tell ya! Whatever.

Someone that needs to change

Assalamualaikum

Have you been in the situation where people not appreciate whatever you done? I have been in that situation. Always. Do you know how annoying it is?

Forever annoyed. 

This person I would rather say as Morry. She's a big girl. Well, more to adult i guess. She always underestimate people around her. Easy to say, she's over the top of everyone. Hell yeah. That she is.

You know,

I bought a pair of shoes for her. Without saying thanks she even didn't look at it. Yeah, RM 60++ is nothing for her. 

I always been trying to cook. The way she looks at me like

'Hey girl you ain't know nothing. Why don't you step back and let me do all?'

Blurgh. How pissed I was. But I don't even care. You want to do them all? Yes. Take it girl!

Every single thing I did, must got complained later. Hahah! Sometimes I feel like I don't want to stay at home. 

Uh-huh.

Do i just giving a clue to you?

Keep it. Whenever my little bro and my sisters were at home, she will start talk to me. Apart from that?

She don't even look at me when she talks!

Then, I must obey whatever she wants. Or hell is waiting for me. I tell you a story.

I made things, later without telling me, without asking my permission or without discussing with me, she's on her feet will throw my things, or duplicate whatever I did and wanted to show to the world

'I am better than yours!'

What? Sick isn't it.

Why I wrote this? Well people, don't this to your family. How bad they are, they still your family.

And this is Ramadan. 

By,

A lady that getting bored to face the 2-faced people.

Ramadan

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah, today is the 6th day of Ramadan and I fell blessed for this special month. I haven't had any special news to announce, however the intention of my writings today is only about the people in my facebook.

Usually I won't approve anyone that I didn't know in reality. For me, they just a person who makes the mess in my newsfeed.

(Seriously?)

Yeah. Sometimes I feel like most of the people just talk crap about themselves. (No hard feelings babe) Some people just want to draw the attention from public. Ew! Come on, keep your personal feelings inside your brain.

(Or blogging it somewhere)

Sometimes they just bragging about themselves. 

However,

I enjoy to read those! They are such a clown in their own world. Seriously, don't make yourself look like a fool. Especially in facebook.

Na ah!

Sorry peeps, happy Ramadan. 

Talking with Aluminium

Assalamualaikum

I had an interview with an aluminium company somewhere in Johore. The first time I reached there, I was like

This couldn't be true. Why?

You can spot the huge different between my previous company with this! This is not right.

The place seems so dark, dull and not even a good place for me. However, I had confirmed the interview with them. So, yeah.

The next day, I feel something bad deep down in my heart. I don't know why, but we called it as instinct. So again, I went there with my father. I could feel the strong heart beating and I climb up the stairs. Oh my goodness. What place is that? Why so dirty?

I reached the receptionist and nobody was there, and I stood in front of the counter waiting for somebody to greet me. Hell, no one! Me looked dumb like a statue told ya! The staffs at the back there just looking at me and continued with their things without bothering me. 

Something wrong with this company. Later, an old lady came to me and she walked very slow like she had been giving a birth just now. I felt sorry for her. She came to me without a word and gave a form i guess it was an interview form. So, i fill up the form and gave it back to her. Again, she just kept silent. 

Bored right?

Then, I waited about 15 minutes until another lady comes to me and just nodded. Indicated that the interview session is ready. I walked passing by the work stations following that lady and everybody just stared at me. 

'So what should I called you?'

The first thing this man asked me. He didn't introduce himself and even that lady too. The interview session went good until a part he asked me about my English Education. He asked me to spell, to read, to make a sentence, to recognize what is right what is wrong. What the hell with this man?

Finally, he said he couldn't hire me as safety and environmental position as I am too young. He is crazy I told you. Always grinning, critics and underestimate about my capabilities. He offered me with other position, ISO administrator with the basic salary of RM1600 and he said I am too young.

Again, I felt being humiliated by him. Man, I have Master of Engineering! I have no problem to do the admin works as I capable to do that. But the way he offered me like i hadn't have any qualification. In Jobstreet, they wrote,

'Fresh graduate is encouraged to apply. Training would be given'

Range of salary: RM2000-2800.

I ended our interview by saying, 

'Thank you, and I will call you back if I interested.'

I hate this company. Seriously.

Friends till Death

Assalamualaikum

One day, my lovely friends were leaving the Nottingham for good, means they were graduated. I couldn't describe how deep of my sadness being leaving by my good friends only Allah knows and sometimes i put myself into sadness and thinking what will happen living without them in this uni?

They are my good friends until today.

Dom and Ammir. The two familiar names.

When the new semester comes, I met a friend. A good friend, no doubt. At that time, I would consider myself as 'shy' as I didn't even close with my other classmates and everybody has their own 'clique'. So I was like spending my time with this good friend. Just as a friend as we know each other.

Until one day, I got a text message. It sounds harsh and I just lost my mother that time. I feel so sad and since that day I have tried to get a gap between us.

The text sounds like this,

'Don't you have any girlfriends around you?'

My body was shivering and I just replied,

'Sorry. It won't happen again and I won't be friends with him as I appreciate our friendship more then your boyfriend.'

So, do you get my situation?

Yes. A girlfriend got mad at me because her boyfriend and I always spend time together as a group for studying.

Then, I didn't bother with them until I got a text message from this good friend. I think he didn't know about his girlfriend yet.

No!

I won't be that crazy to tell him. Because, I have my pride.

He asked me for lunch. As usual. Well, we're in the same 'clique' before. That's why he didn't feel awkward just to get lunch for two.

I just replied,

'For new semester, I will cook for myself'.

and I said

'Im sorry for everything'.

Since then we haven't speak and be so dumbly awkward.

He understood.

That was a sad memory I would think of. I just lost my friendship with a good friend.

Then, Allah knows the best. Again. He gave me a new group of friends! Very good friends. Alhamdulillah.

I love them. Thank you Allah for giving me the best opportunity to be with them.

Why they do this to me?

Assalamualaikum

I am jobless since June and honestly I couldn't stay at home too long. You know why? Because I feel awkward when staying with some people that we can call as 'bossy'.

I should not write this. But people, once you read this embrace yourself are you like her?

I had living with my eldest sister. She is very strict and fierce. Whenever she talks very slow and her tone changes to very calm, you know something wrong will happen. To be honest, I was stressful and suffered of living with her for 3 months. She is very kind, seriously. But, at any time she will explode with unknown reason. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't stay in her house since I know she likes privacy and she doesn't like if people touch her things.

Neither I.

But, I couldn't understand her. When she is too tired, she wouldn't talk. Even a word. Swear to God, that time I will suffer because if I didn't satisfy her like follow whatever she wants, she might explode! So I need to be careful.

Always.

You can feel how stress am I?

Or am I a dumb because couldn't think like her? I don't know. I am very confuse with myself.

Then, after I finished my studies I just stay at home waiting for any interview. Again the same thing is happening again. I couldn't stay calm with the condition like this. I am suffering.

Only Allah knows, how I feel.

Apart for this, I know my sisters are the best. Maybe because of mood swings everybody is becoming like that.

*Kecik Hati.*

Graduation Day

Assalamualaikum

The most memorable day for me was my Graduation Day. It might look like a common thing for some people.

But it wasn't!

I enjoyed it much even though without my late mum.

(How much i miss her)

Thank you for all my family and friends for being there.

Alhamdulillah.

MEng (Hons) Chemical with Environmental Engineering

New Beginning

Assalamualaikum

Hi readers, May Allah bless all of you. This new blog represents a new life of me and by the way I  already did my degree!

Yeay!

Alhamdulillah.

Currently, I am jobless. Yes, I had several interviews related my qualification. However, non of them were succeed. 

Insha Allah. I know Allah knows the best for me.

Happy reading and hope all of you please with my new blog!